in celebration of WOMEN'S MONTH & in ANTICIPATION OF OUR BABY :)

march-- fire prevention month. rabies awareness month. WOMEN'S MONTH. one month before I GIVE BIRTH :)
since i get to watch a lot of tv during my spare time (which i actually i have a lot of... for some reason), iv seen a lot of ads recognizing women, thanking women, glorifying women. it makes me proud to be a woman. right now, im very excited & thankful that God made me a woman... id have to say that it has a lot to do with the fact that im about to have a beautiful princess mamoi (aka a baby girl, aka boknat, aka bibay) in a month. & although it has been a not-so-smooth past couple of month, the strain, the problems, the issues-- they all go away even for a short while whenever i think about this very magulo baby inside me. (& believe me, she's super gulo that sometimes gusto ko na sha awayin, especially when i find it difficult to sleep, move & breathe! sometimes, pinapalo ko na yung tummy ko to make her stop :p or i push back whenever she kicks me :p she's super gulo that sometimes i talk to her and tell her to come out na para she wouldn't have to kick me & elbow me anyomore :p) some say that having a baby is the ultimate fulfillment... the essence of womanhood. somehow, id have to agree :)

so anyway, forgive me for raving about my pregnancy... its just exciting :p

since it's women's month, id like to somehow recognize the women i admire.
if i had written this blog a few weeks ago, i would've raved on and on about kris aquino & her resilience & strength in facing the james-hope issue. but that has died down & we've all moved on. but just a quick one on my thoughts on the issue...

i do admire her for the way she handled the issue. we may never get to find out what really happened, but im trying to lok beyond that fact. basta for me, the way she acted, the way she tried to stay as strong as she could, the way she so wanted to keep the family together, especially with the anticipation of their first baby together... that i admire. it's not always easy physically & emotionally when you're pregnant. and as much as possible, you do have to stay away from stress during this time... for the good of both mom & kid. but the world wouldn't stop turning on its course & make everything favorable for you when you're pregnant (i testify!). some women get very emotional when they do not get to eat the food they're craving for. some get depressed coz they feel so ugly. normal blah issues compared to what others have to deal with. some may respect kris because of her strenght of character & her ability to speak her mind out. i respect her most because she's keeping as strong as she could during this time.

another woman i admire is one of my friends. she's my classmate, & is my mother's age. i enjoy sharing with her my thoughts & feelings, the ongoings of my life, & i enjoy listening to hers because we get to exchange opinions, & in the process, get advice from each other. she has 2 daughters almost my age & sometimes she finds it difficult to understand them. she's shared with my the mom's perspective & it has helped me understand & appreciate my mother. but what i actually admire about her most is the way she's sticking to her family & the way she admits her weaknesses, but tries to deal with them the best way she could. she's shared with us that a lot of people think that she's living a charmed life. they see her family as a perfect family. but inside her home, there are issues. everytime we talk about that, she always keeps reminding us this one thing: the bible says that as a wife, it is your duty to stay with your husband. he may do stupid things (admit it, a lot of men do :p), you may suspect (but be afraid to confirm) that he's cheating on you, he may take forgranted your feelings... but as long as he comes home to you, you have to be there for him to come home to & accept him. i know, martyr, right? but i guess that comes with the vow you take on your wedding day.

& of course, how can i not admire my own mother? she's probly the most madiskarte & strongest woman iv ever met. i know a lot of people respect her & love her. im especially proud when a lot of the talents in the place she works in calls her "mommy". just goes to show that she knows how to treat people right. she has this way with people talaga... parang it's hard to resist her. nakakaaliw how the talents would bring her pasalubong when their contract ends & they come home, or when they come back from vacation (shempre, nakikinabang ako... dami food e! :p) feeling ko, wherever they go, they keep mama in mind. & we know that that kind respect & love don't come easy... it has to be earned. i would have to say that it's not just because mama is very maboka & talks well. she's not shallow. i know that she does genuinely care for these people. what a big heart she has, ryt? & her strength, i admire. i know life has not been very easy for her. she does cry, but she goes on. she fights. at the end of the day, she survives. & the next morning, while most people in her shoes would just wish that they could go back to sleep & sleep their problems away, she wakes up, tries to be as strong as she can & faces her problems once more. i know she deserves a break from it all... & if i could, id give her that break. but for now, i just hope that she's got enough strength to get her through until i could do just that.

& my sister. id have to say that she's starting to show that she's following in our mother's footsteps. she probly doesn't know it, but i admire her & respect her for who she is & what she's done. i know that she's been forced to grow up to face all the challenges coming her way. but she's played her role well. i know it would take years & lots more challenges for her to come at par with our mother, but what she's reached now is very admirable na. i know there are times ren when she feels that she'd want to give up, but she hasn't given up & i don't see her doing that. it's just not her character. & i know she cries, but her tears fuel her to go on. i guess those tears serve to unload some of her burdens so she'd have enough strength to go on.

not all of us are gifted with a charmed life. & i guess those who feel unlucky coz they feel that they never get the break they deserve should instead feel blessed because it separates them from the rest. it makes them the WOMAN they are destined to become... not just another girl.

so anyway, back to my pregnancy :p
wala lang.. na eexcite pa din ako :)

im lucky to have had a relatively easy pregnancy, physically. i didnt experience morning sickness (siguro i did, pero ung tipong very ocassional na slight nausea lang), i didn't have weird cravings, iv been pretty healthy, i haven't ballooned & iv no edema anywhere (although iv still 1 month left & possible pa magka edema & mag gain ako ng 10++ lbs na wag naman sana! :p)... i could still do much of the things i normally did. i could still wear most of my clothes (kahet na muka akong butete :p) emotionally naman, people are very supportive. madaming excited for the baby, nakakatuwa na andaming nagvovolunteer na ninong & ninang (gusto ko kunin lahat para dami gifts itong si boknat :p). a lot of people have been very understanding & generous. i didnt even have to buy maternity clothes kase aside from the fact that most of my clothes still fit, marami din nagbigay ng maternity clothes :) i have a wonderful daddy mamoi (oo babe, wonderful ka na ren, kahet nabubugbog tummy ko pag pnanggigigilan mo si boknat :p) madami nagbibigay ng food :p

although i admit it hasn't been perfect. in fact, it hasn't been very easy. shempre, anjan ung financial worries. & some relationship strain... pero i don't want to dwell on those issue, although its getting harder & harder to ignore them, especially since 1 month na lang & guguluhin na ni boknat ang mundo :p pero basta, right now, nananaig yung excitement. or yun lang ung pinapansin ko... ayaw ko kse magpastress... i just pray that masolusyunan yun mga issues na yan (Lord, hear our prayers!) haaay, why worry when you can pray, ryt? & besides, worrying won't make the problem go away. mahihirapan lang ako magisip kung pano ko lalampasan to.

so anyway, basta yun... sobrang excited na talaga. sa sobrang excitement, nahihirapan kme magisip ni abet ng name for boknat. i wouldn't be surprised kung BOKNAT or BIBAY talaga yung name na nakasulat sa birth certificate nya. BOKNAT DANGAN or BIBAY DANGAN... sounds good naman db? wawang bata, pagtatawanan sa school. but at least madaling i spell yung name nya :p consuelo de bobo :p

sa mga friends, wag kakalimutan ang gift ha! one for the baby shower, another pagpanganak, & another sa binyag :p wishlist: ps3, shopping spree, beach trip for abet... shopping spree, beach trip for me :p pero kung si boknat lang gusto nyong bigyan, ok na din... basta as much as possible, wag clothes coz baka matambak lang un sa cabinet & never magamit sa bilis lumaki ng baby :p if ur feeling generous, pwedeng crib, stroller, car seat, rocker, mobile, maraming baby bottles & nipples & several (1 or 2) pacifiers, bottle/food warmer, baby scrap book, diapers, baby wipes, baby formula... etc etc.. or cash... if you're feeling very generous, pwedeng gift & cash :p

kakaexcite talaga... we had our ultrasound pala, kaya we know na baby girl... & kamuka ng daddy nya.

so today, im 32 weeks & five days... 5 or so weeks na lang, lalabas na si boknat! yehey!

new year, new life :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR to all!

cliche as it may sound, im expecting a lot of changes this year. some of you may know of it already, but for others who have yet to find out... you will find out soon enough :)

im awaiting one major life-changing event pretty soon, and im getting mixed emotions about it right now. of course, im suuuuuper excited. im counting the days til THAT DAY :D (that's less than 4 months away pa...) but at the same time, im kinda scared. scared coz it's really something big, something new for me... scared coz i don't know how im gonna go about it. scared coz i need all the help i can get, but im not sure where to get it. scared coz sometimes, its just too scary ;p nonetheless, the excitement overshadows the fear most of the time... im just praying that things start looking brighter the next couple of days :)

also, this year, im graduating... again :p if things go as planned, il be done with nursing by october... thank God! of course im excited, but at the same time, scared den. i mean, graduation entails job search... & this time, i have to take the search seriously. no more procrastinating. no more try this & try that. i need to find a job & stick to it. & make sure that it pays well. & that it wouldn't drive me too crazy so that i could stay with it for the next couple of years.

things aren't a 100% sure yet, but im looking at leaving the country again... to work somewhere else AGAIN before the year ends. actually, if i definitely decide on working in the US again, i must leave anytime after october this year (post grad) & before february the next year (before my visa expires)... if we decide to work somewhere else, aussie for instance, we can delay the leaving for some time... but im not sure if that would be too wise since we can not delay having to earn our own money... anyway, i hope to get a better idea of what to do pretty soon...

these are just 3 major changes im looking at this year... i know there'll be lots more... surprises, both good & bad (hopefully, good will far outweigh the bad this time around :)) i hope you guys pray for me since most of the time, i really don't know what to do.

iv always been pretty loose when it comes to changes. i mean i do make plans & all, but i don't like making strict plans coz i know that along the way, there'll be lots of surprises. what i actually do is i prepare myself to adapt to changes. i know i have to think fast, but still weigh things carefully. most of the time kasi, i can't make plans because it's not just me who's affected. a lot of people, a lot of matters come into play. and i have to consider them all. it could get crazy, but as i always say, things do eventually fall into their proper places... in God's perfect timing :) we might not understand why things have to happen in a certain way, but we just have to let it happen :D

so here's to the good times of 2006... & to better days this 2007 :D KAMPAY NA!

sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down...

mommy cassie kept repeating that to me a couple of times last night. iniinggit nya ako since they were to go home early because their CI did not show up, while the rest of us were stuck in the ER. the 6 of them all agreed to take a cab going back to kuya alvin's place & get their cars instead of waiting for us so we could all head back together.

id save u all from the boring details of the story & go straight to my point.

the rest of the group found out earlier that as they were heading home, they were held up in the highway. actually, it was mommy cassie who was victimized, while the rest of them stood there shocked, shouting & crying. when they were crossing the highway, a car zoomed past them, grabbed mommy cassie's bag, & she ended up getting dragged for around 10-15meters. luckily, the only scratches she got were from her landing on the ground when she finally let go of her bag. we were just thankful that there were no other cars there to hit her, and as she was being dragged, she felt as if she was floating. she didnt get any scars from the dragging. she got a swollen right hand after she landed on it & some bruises from clutching her bag, but that was it.

i could just imagine how traumatizing that was for her, and for her groupmates to see that. imagine, 5 girls sila & kuya sam was the only guy with them...

anyway, when she stood up, another car (actually, feeling nila it was the same car with the same guys inside) passed by and asked them what happened. there were big firearms inside the car. after that, an auv passed them & the people inside identified themselves as police...

so anyway, they no longer reported it to the authorities since they did not trust the place. we just told our dean about the incident & insisted that we no longer affiliate with that hospital to protect the students.

haaaay, wala lng.. the past couple of weeks has been crazily surreal. 2 fridays ago, mommy effie's bag was snatched from her by men aboard a motorcycle when she was walking from school to the q ave station. thinking back that nyt, we were supposed to be walking with her if only we waited for her for a couple more minutes. but since the 2 friends i was walking with were quite in a hurry, we told her that we'd go ahead. when we reached panay ave, we heard some people shouting, then saw kuya sam running. it was scary since it was just us 3 girls that time & the place was not that well-lighted. when kuya sam approached us & told us what happened, we were scared. then we saw mommy effie. she already gave up on her bag & i was riding the mrt home with her, she said that she was just thankful that nothing bad happened to her. she said that it was better that she let go, instead of risking getting dragged. i agreed with her. i mean, there were worse things that could have happened.

then the next day, we got news of paul's passing away due to a VA. he was with his twin. the news was so hard to believe since i just saw him the night before during our class. basta, parang ang hirap pa ren paniwalaan.

this afternoon was our first ncm class since that happened. when i saw his gf arrive, i asked her how she was. she gave a faint smile & said she was ok. when we got sa classroom, she was crying & shaking. one could not imagine how hard that must be for her. we told her to sit with us sa class, to stay sa front instead of their usual seat sa middle. ayoko ren sa back sha umupo coz i know she'll just see their spot & that would be hard. at least sa front, she just has to face the prof. i admire her nga kse despite what happened, she did well so quiz namen kanina (habang kami ng mga katabi ko e mejo halos bumagsak lng namn :p) paul must be very proud of her.

anyway, december na & we're supposed to be happy, celebrating the season... but sometimes, parang ang hirap maging totally happy. i mean minsan, parang ang hirap salubungin ang christmas pag wala kang pera for gifts & shopping... pero our christmas should not feel empty because of that. we should just remember that as long as we have the people we love, we have lots of reasons to celebrate. as long as we're safe, we have something na pwedeng pagsalu-saluhan, no matter how simple, and as long as we're alive & healthy, we should be thankful. we should just celebrate life.

sa mga friends ko reading this, pray kayo lagi ha. pray whenever u go out, pray wherever you are. pray when ur scared, when u feel unsafe. grabe, one time, i was walking from the mrt to hi-top & for some stupid reason, dun ako dumaan sa place kung san nanakawan si mommy effie. i did not take a trike kse lapit lng ng hi-top. half-way sa street, kinabahan na ako... i kept looking back lalo na pag may naririnig akong motorcycle or trike. one time nga, a motorcycle with 2 guys passed me... e sobrang nagdadasal ako tlga non.. napadasal ako lalo when i saw them. i was praying til i reached school. nalimutan ko na kung ano gusto ko bilhin non sa hi-top :p

hay, nakakasad lng tlga. parang ang hirap to feel safe kahit saan. scary mag cab dahil malay mo ba kung topak ung driver. scary mag mrt kse i have to walk home pa magisa. kkapraning, i swear. pero un nga, pray lng ng pray... un lng naman pwede naten gawin e. well, pwede kang tumakbo o lumaban, pero malamang nasaktan ka na non o nakuhaan ka ng stuff.. kaya pray nlng na sana walang masamang mangyari...

ay, it's almost my bday, & i dont know how ill celebrate it. shempre i want to celebrate it kse this might be my last birthday (at least for quite sometime) na ill celebrate here sa pinas. on my next bday, ill probably be in the states na. yikes!

i was planning to have a small celebration here sa house on sat. nothing fancy, just an after dinner party. kaso may 7am duty ako the next day. i dont know naman if i can celebrate it on sunday kse may work naman ung ibang friends ko. next sat naman, bday na ng bunsong utol ko, so ayoko naman makisabay. besides, may outreach event kme. sa friday naman, xmas party ng tropa. haaaay, bahala na! basta i want to celebrate khet papano... wala lng. i just feel na despite everything that has happened the past year, i still have so much to be thankful for. andami losses, pero may gains den naman. parang puro struggle pero at least im alive & healthy diba? and i have the people i love.

last year, ung bday wish ko, sana maging happy naman ung people dear to me. marami namang sumaya e... this year, im wishing for the same thing. plus good health, safety & lots of blessings for us & them... mahirap isaisahin ung wish ko para sa mga taong yan... basta, pagdadasal ko nalng ren kayo :p

haaaay, after this very long post, hindi pa ren matapostapos ung pag download ko ng grey's anatomy season3 episode10! sorry, un ang aking kinaaadikan... that & one tree hill season 4. i download the episodes every week para updated :p wala lang.. kakaaliw e!

my "last" sembreak... again...

just got back from a very short trip to laguna. we stayed at our friend's place, a different place than the last time. actually, we were planning to go home sunday early am. we were talking about going to tagaytay tonight & start driving back early am tomorrow. however, since our friend's mom was rushed to the hospital, we had to come back.

it was a pretty short, but nevertheless very fun trip. we left yesterday afternoon. we planned on leaving 3pm... but ended up leaving school around 4, going to the grocery, meeting up some time later over at shell @ slex, having dinner, then meeting up again somewhere.. in short, we arrived at san pablo around 10.30 pm na. & since the other boys had to pick one of our friends up at liliw, we ended up "starting" our fun around midnight. we all slept around 5 am, woke up around 11, had breakfast, went swimming, had lunch @ 5pm... then decided to head home around 6.30pm.

anyway, i just realized that this is my 2nd "last sembreak" since i have only 2 sems to go. grabe, ang bilis! & sobrang andaming adventures... wala lng.. ang saya lang in a kinda twisted way. haaay, shempre kelangan i enjoy na at back to work na kme sa monday. ang galeng diba, duty agad on monday.. at shempre, sabak agad sa ortho! so 2 wks of mon-fri duty ng 2-6 pm... tpos on thurs & fri, may class kame. and adventure nanaman ang bagong group ko. parang bawat sem na lng, nagpapalit ako ng group... 1st time, almost equal balance ng 1st & 2nd coursers, last time, ako lang ang 2nd courser (pero hindi halata.. si aldrin ang pnagkakamalang 2nd courser e! :p) this time, puro mommies naman kasama... haaaay, kung last time, andaming nagsabing i lost weight, feelng ko this sem, il gain a lot of weight... hahaha!

anyway, enjoy lng ng enjoy!

eternal hunger

*edited 110406*
i wish that title was intended for some deeply profound entry... but since this blog's all from my shallow mind, im sticking to a shallow topic. so instead of talking about my eternal hunger for life's good things (knowledge, love, bliss, etc.) let's talk about food.

FOOD!!!!!

nowadays, i feel as if i have this insatiable hunger. im always thinking about food. i spend most of my waking moments looking for food or wishing i could buy this particular food... but due to my limited funds & the very limited stock of food here at home, i have to be contented with eating blue skies & forcing myself to believe it's something else.

just the other day, iv been telling abet about the places i loved eating in when i was in glendale. in that short time i was there, i realized that i spent most of my time eating, thus my unbelievable 25-lbs (conservative estimate :p) weight gain.
______________________

let's try to remember the stuff i miss... for future reference.. (u know, like when we go there & can't seem to decide what or where to eat...)

ruby's - over at huntingtong beach... at the end of the pier... i loved their fried zucchini, fries, burgers & milkshake... yumyum! when we stayed there, my sibs & i would eat there everyday.

bucca de bepo - @ universal citywalk. i forgot what we ordered... some kind of lemon chicken, i think. basta, good food, nice ambiance, great servers... yum!

& another place in universal citywalk which sold good fries & the best strawberry iced tea.

thai bbq - our usual "last resort" when we couldn't think of anywhere else to eat.

costco - can't get enough of their pizza & chicken baked :)

this noodle place 2 blocks from my office - sulit na pad thai!

zankou - sarap nung chicken!

pampas - i think that's the name of the brazilian place over @ farmers market where jace & i ate the saturday before i went home. sarap nung food, although ull get OD'd sa waiters na OD ng steroids :p

PF chang - mejo shala shala.. pero sarap ng food e!

trader joe's - sarap nung instant shumai nila & kung ano ano pang dumplings

HK supermarket @ western - masarap ung parang dilis nila don...

mickey dees - shempre naman, hindi ko makakalimuta ung mc griddles ko na similar ung calorie content sa big mac... e kaya ko pa naman umubos ng 2 ganon sa 1 morning.. panalo!

those el salvadorean bread my mexican officemate would bring every morning.. sarap! something to look forward to sa office... actually, the only i look forward to...

ceviche that my other officemate brought a couple of times

panda express - orange chicken! waaaah!

glendale galleria food court - that other chinese fast food place where i always buy chicken terriyaki & chowmein... & that lemonade stand na masarap din ung corndogs... & that pizza place & the shish kebab place... actually marami masarap sa food court :p

wholefoods market - masarap ung chicken & corn something don! pwede na ung ceviche :)

my ever faithful arko - where i buy pinoy ulam :), nilupak, banana chips, mentos dalandan, sunflower crackers, etc etc

pretzels sa moviehouse - iba tlga e :)

portos - ung cheese something nila.. yum!

el pollo loco - burrito!

in & out - animal style fries & a double double!

pizza & buffalo wings ng pizza hut - minsan tlga nakakatempt magorder online tas padeliver ko dito :p

the seafood buffet place we ate at in ocean city - panalo! kailangan mo lng tlga sulitin kse taga sa bulsa.. pero sarap tlga ng maryland crabs.. la ako masabi!

blue potato chips whenever i fly jet blue... the best! nakakita ako non 1x sa rustans supermarket sa rockwell.. pero naman.. the price ha!

fisherman's wharf sa sfo - ung clam chowder don! (although hindi ako nakapunta don last time)

ung halibut chaka salmon na luto ni tito joey na may special sawsawan... & ung tokwa't baboy... pati na ren ung waknatoi!

& shempre, ang aking peborit na ralphs (actually pwede na ren ung ibang grocery places... but since pnakamalapit sa apartment ung ralphs, un ung peborit ko.. kakamiss na nga si manong, ung pinoy evening shift security guard don...) - anytime anjan lng sha... pag kelangan ko ng ben & jerry's half-baked chocolate chip cookie dough o chunky monkey, ng chips, ng instant noodles or rice na binabaon ko sa office... tpos ung bread, campbells na clamchowder, ung walang sawa kong juice na kung ano ano basta specially prized :p


at kung ano ano pa... hindi ko na maalala everything kse im getting a headache dahil gutom na ako... seriously...