that so-called quarter-life crisis

**honk, honk** long post ahead!!!

this all started with the article sheila posted in our egroups, which you guys can read in nel's blog if you have not read it yet. It's an article written by Dan Galang entitled "Quarterlife Crisis", which sheila found while surfing Tsinoy.com

anyway, this all got us thinking about our lives. we have all been complaining of not knowing which direction we want to take, or not wanting where we are/what we are doing now, wanting to do more, be more. among my friends, there are those who have worked in a company and moved to another, or worked in one then quit. as for me, i worked, then decided to go back to studying. and not my masters or whatever course that could enhance or supplement my first degree (management economics). i did a complete turnaround and took up nursing.

there are times when i ask myself if this is what i really want to do. my friends ask me if i can see myself working as a nurse, and surprisingly, yes, i do! i just do not see myself as a nurse until i'm 40.

that is because a few months back, i made a "life plan". it is carefully outlined. well, not really, but i set specific goals AND deadlines. for instance, i made a list of the places i want to visit (there are like 45-50 of them) both in the philippines and elsewhere. and i want to visit them before i turn 50, because i tell myself that i want to go to these places while i can still enjoy them.

but that's what the article is warning us about. we experience the quarter-life crisis because we set deadlines.

we can't set deadlines, otherwise, we will get frustrated. looking at my life plan, i have everything all mapped out. i study now, hopefully graduate in 3 years, start working, take a 2-week to a month long vacation every year, retire by the time i'm 45, then spend the next 5 years going to the places i have not been to yet, etc.

but what if i never get to fulfill these goals? what if after 3 years, i decide that i do not want to work as a nurse in some foreign country? what if i decide to stay here? what if i want to take another course? (my parents will probably kill me then) what if one day, i look at these plans i made and realize that they are not the things i want anymore? will i have to stick to that lifeplan? or should i make a new one?

my friends are suggesting that we should not set very big goals into the future. it is better to take things a few tiny steps at a time. we should not plan too far ahead. instead, we need to take things day at a time. we can plan ahead, but in terms of months, not years.

which makes better sense?

if we plan ahead, we have a definite goal that we are working towards, something that would push us, something that we can look at and make us realize what we should be doing or why we are doing something at that moment. on the other hand, if we fail to stick to that plan, we'd be frustrated, discouraged, unhappy.

if we dream big, we can go places. everything starts with a dream. we can not achieve something, unless we have a picture of it in our heads. and besides, libre naman mangarap, right?

hmmm, parang hindi. how can dreaming be free if it means frustration and sacrificing your happiness? we can set dreams, but make sure that they are realistic, reachable. but isn't that limiting us?

when i was still in ateneo, i learned this prayer that i have come to love, and somehow, it taught me that we should extend ourselves beyond that security line we have.


disturb us, o Lord, when we are too please with ourselves;
when our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little,
when we have arrived in safety because we sailed too close to the shore.
disturb us, o Lord, when with the abundance of things which we possess
we have lost our thirst for the water of life,
when having fallen in love with time, we have ceased to dream of eternity;
and in our efforts to build a new earth,
we have allowed our vision of the new heaven to grow dim.

stir us, o Lord, to dream and dare more boldly,
to venture on wide seas where storms shall show their mastery,
where losing sight of land we shall find the stars.
stir us, o Lord, to be mindful of the opportunities
that we are faced with each day.
many of these opportunities may seem to us as great problems,
but give us the wisdom to see that they are ways to make our faith,
through works, stronger.
in the name of Him who has pushed back the horizons
of our hopes and invited us, the brave, to follow Him.
what to do, what to do? i don't know!

i am definitely sticking to my life plan. for now. who knows what i want in a few years? it's just good to know that i am heading somewhere, and not wandering aimlessly. if later on, i realize that this is not where i want to go, i guess i could just turn around, take another path.

here's to wishing that we do not have to go too deep into this quarter-life crisis!

sabi sa inyo, mahaba ito e!